A Dark Christmas Tale

This year Santa found himself in a dilemma. Much of the North Pole had melted, due to global warming and, because of this, his subprime loan for his house made him upside down. He couldn't make the mortgage payments, and his 401k was almost gone. He laid off some of the helpers and the rest had to work extra hours with a pay cut.

Santa petitioned congress for a loan. He knew he was too big to fail, but did not have any lobbyists, so he was turned down. Santa then turned to help from the Chinese. He despised their shoddy toy construction and working conditions, but had no choice.

Nor did it help that Mrs. Claus had a minor medical condition, and was denied her claim from the HMO. And the SPCA and PETA were all over him for the raindeer. Santa also made the unfortunate choice in putting his funds in with Madoff, and was out quite a bit of money.

Thankfully, this dark tale is all fiction. We all know that none of these things could ever happen in the United States of America. So Santa is just fine, thank you for asking.